Plan B is the new Plan A
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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