the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I will pee on everything he values.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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