yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
