writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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