we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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