I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
