oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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