Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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