ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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