Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i believe in u and ur pee
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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