ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
