he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Non-Jews are for practice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize