...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
