Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
