If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
