I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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