I puked a lego.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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