how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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