plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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