I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
