the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
