ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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