Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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