so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
