So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
