What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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