Sry I called you an 8
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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