I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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