oh god the rape fog is back!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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