oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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