Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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