that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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