i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
