put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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