when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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