all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
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