my mouth tastes like poor choices
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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