What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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