i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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