Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
