Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
