he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
