No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
