I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
