Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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