so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize