It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
