Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
