You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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