i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
