No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
