can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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