what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
