Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my poor anus
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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