marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
