all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
